Broken Love - Broken Hearts

I felt compelled to comment on the recent announcements of the impending divorces of Bishop Weeks/Juanita Bynum and Randy and Paula White. I also understand Charles Stanley's wife has left him - no explanation given. Just had enough.

I am so broken over what has happened with these marriages. I feel so bad for their families and churches. In all honesty, I was physically affected when I heard about Randy and Paula White and needed to take a few days to digest it. As people often say during times like this, "They seemed so in happy". I loved when they ministered together.

This was a very daunting experience for me, since God has been dealing with me about promoting my book, "A Reason To Love: Intimate Tales of the Marriage Bed". Now more than ever, I understand why He insisted I write it. For those of you that walked through the process with me, you know it was initially difficult for me to write a book concerning intimacy in marriage. But now that some of our most high profile leaders are experiencing failure in marriage, it's clear there is a need to reclaim the power of the marriage bed. Woven within the pages of my book is so much wisdom concerning how married couples are to function in the privacy of their inner most relationship and it's not just about sex. It's about recognizing and utilizing the power of the marriage bed.

It was such a sad confirmation that both these couples reported that an excessive amount of time spent a part was a major cause of their break ups. This is especially hard to take since all were involved in ministry - in leadership where people are taught to follow and emulate ministers - as they follow Christ. (Weren't they?) Scary and disheartening. Are we as ministers all so busy chasing the dream of international mega ministry that we've forgotten that our source of mental/physical renewal and rejuvenation comes from the marriage bed - the inner sanctum of rest and fulfillment?

I know ministry can sometimes take a toll, but we must learn how to come back center and focus on our first ministry - home. When we read the story of Issac in the bible - After God prospered him and he settled in the land God had given him, the first thing he did was build an alter and honor God. Then they put up tents. They established home and provided a safe dwelling place for the family - taking care of home. Last they dug wells - meaning they attended to work. The pattern is simple and something we all know. God - Home - Work. How easily we forget, it really is about balance and our ability to see things clearly. It's not just about looking at numbers, trying to increase the bottom line or tracking the latest conference registration counts.

Lastly, and I know this may sound judgemental, but it's what is in my heart -

I just can't believe that in all those times when these leaders were before the Lord getting a word for the people, that God didn't give them a word for themselves and their relationships. Did they not have the vision and insight to see that they were drifting or flying apart? Did it matter? Did they care? Were they willing to give up the crowds for an audience of one - the one earthly love that mattered most?

Do we consider these issues in our own relationships? Or is it acceptable for a mate to be unhappy or dissatisfied while we just go along as if we don't notice that the spark - the interest - the love has faded? I pray not. I pray we take these break ups as a wake up call. Stop for a moment and take the time to lift up your eyes from your personal agenda and take a good long look at the condition of your relationship. And if you see something is not right, then do some house cleaning and make the necessary repairs before the house falls down around you.

My hope and prayer is that if any of you are experiencing martial problems that you reach out for help. Reach out to your mate and call on the Lord together. Then call on the Saints to pray. Yes - we as a body of believers must stand in the gap and pray so that the enemy does not steal the joyful gift of love, the awesome experience of romance and the power of the marriage bed from one more couple.

So these are my thoughts. Yours???


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